What is wrong with me anyway?

This recent day predictively the situation for me personally has been getting more and more difficult. Really havent got anything very clear to be done. All i have done seems to be blown away. All i have been through in my life recently turns out to be weary.
I dont know what to do...
Everyone is everyone..with their excuses and reasons to be believed. Everyone is coming and leaving out easily. everyone is putting their hands on me for just several seconds and leaving me behind easily. Everyone is only feeling comfortable with me for theirselves needs. Everyone is making me as a part of a short moment reliever.
I dont know what to do...
The last time i thought about my very sad existance..
Never do i worry about my self...that's what people easily said to me
but i know it is the hardest part to be committed..
Like i have mentioned in my former writing on this blog...i have closed my heart successfully..and this happens more and more hurting anyway...i am heartpain proofed now on...i am full of self defence highly. Never do i think for what people will and have done to me. They can do everything to me till they get their highest satisfaction from me. Never do i think for my own feeling.
I dont know what to do...
Never do all of you say that i must think everything in such a positive way. what way is that? a sugar cup cake? or the one which makes me more and more down? okay...i got the meaning...as i said...i transform myself to be more and more feelingless. No trust to love and such a story behind. No more such a great expectation to build in my heart...my heart now on is heartless.
I cant ever make a difference where the sin and the good are...
I am blind now
For me all people now are only seeming like flies...they can come and go as they wish
I dont know what to do...
for no matter i ve been giving everything to them with my own heart but if they dont care..it is their own right...and i never asked for the respond and the reply from them....
long time ago i thought love would come as i had expected...and love now chooses to leave me.
only do i smile in my heart to see this happen to me. it has chosen it own way for me freely.
Sincererity and passion in love are only stupid things for me. I have kicked them out of my head and my mind.
am i hurt?am i in great hope to find love? NO...and Nobody even cares for all my simple wishes
people never think i cried in my deepest heart...and they dont care because i covered it very tightly...but as i told to all of you...you, people, can do everything good and hurting to me and i am in great thanking for that
Nobody cares for what i am feeling
Nobody cares for what i am thinking
Nobody cares for what my rights are
eversince i am not myself anymore..